Play Date

Play dates are not something that are on our regular play list for my ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder) girl.  For most of her life they have been few and far between.  At age 12, I can still probably count her total play dates on just my own digits (toes included).   The girls in our neighborhood are good to her, but playdates have mostly ended up with Ellie exploring on her own, or playing in the hosts room by herself (by choice).

Ellie does have one good friend, a girl who attends Ellie's school.  This school is a charter school dedicated to helping those with Aspergers Syndrome and high functioning autism.  I'm not bragging, but, wow, this school is a blessing in our lives.  Not all the students are on the spectrum; some are siblings of kids with ASD and Ellie's friend is one of those siblings but seems to thrive in this school environment.

Ellie's friend, let's call her Abby, called her Thursday to arrange a get together, and I ended up bringing both girls home after school on Friday.  After school is not the best time to arrange a get-to-gether, as Ellie is about peopled out by the end of the day.  So it was a quiet ride to our house, with most of the talking being done by me, but I eventually give up, letting them be.   At home, the girls wanted to bake and decorate cakes, one of their go-to things to do.  I left the kitchen; I can't watch when they bake.  I want to interfere, to make suggestions, flinching as they try to figure things out on their own ("are you sure you want to do that?" "um, why don't we do it this way.")  So I leave.  It's best for everyone.

While the cakes baked, they watched Netflix; normally I would encourage something else, but as I said before, it was after school and they were both kind of done. Then they made icing for the cakes.  Again I hid; it's hard to watch without sticking my nose in. The cakes turned out fine and it's an activity they enjoy so I call it a win.

Ellie and Abby only get together about once a month or so, but for my girl that's all she seems to need.  She has a friend she can call her besty,  for which I am eternally grateful, and a somewhat awkward playdate once a month is all she seems to need right now.